myscrapworks: when art meets heart

Scrappers share an instant affinity with one another. When one says she can't sleep because she just got to have a scrapping tool, we all understand. When another says she just overshot her scrapping budget, we agree and say we know how difficult it is to stick to budgets. When another confesses to neglecting hubby and kids because she just had to scrap, we feel the same "guilt" and feel sorry (more for the scrapper for her guilt than for the "abandoned" hubby and/or kids - LOL.)

Ever wondered what it feels like for a scrapper's hubby? While we do understand one another when it comes to anything and everything about our craft, can we honestly say the same for our partners - particularly when they see us scrap, splurge or be so paranoid with having our cameras ready 24-7 (so we can have MORE pictures to scrap)?

I always ask my husband to tell me exactly how he feels about things but you know how men are - they say so… little. Well I found one man who says what he feels and what he thinks (about his wife's scrapping)! The best part of it is that he says it with so much humor that the honesty doesn't sting! I don't feel slighted as a scrapper. I feel… well… funny (?) that my passion for my scrapping can sometimes make me look so ridiculous to people who don't share my craft! (Ever saw strangers' startled looks when you go scream at the sight of paper? - THAT is what I'm talking about!)

Meet BubbaH (not his real name - probably for fear of stalking by scrap-crazies with all the posts he has made about our craft. LOL) He's married to a scrapper (and I truly suspect, a great one!) He knows what he is talking about when he rants about a scrapper's husband's life! If you want to have a "lift" or would like your husband to feel that he isn't alone in the universe (when you abandon him for a while to scrap) - visit BubbaH's blog and have a great laugh! Here are some things BubbaH shared with MSW. Enjoy! - M

BubbaH

MSW: What are your views about scrapping? What do you think makes it addictive?

BubbaH: Scrappers say they want to preserve the past by doing something with all their photos. I ask: What is wrong with the normal albums Mom used? Or the shoe boxes in the attic? And now-a-days they probably shoot digital. Why not burn everything on a DVD and stack it in drawer! But noooo. They need to have all those things their friends have! I believe that all that stuff they want to have should just lie perfectly in the shop (where it belongs)! Just get the shoeboxes or the DVDs!

And let's talk about the "workshops" where they always exclaim are "so much fun!" They just had to spread that joy! Pretty soon they start giving THEIR OWN workshops! And they cannot give workshops if they don't have enough supplies, they begin to justify. So they start buying more scrap stuff - this time, WHOLESALE!

Where do you think they will put all that stuff? Right! In the living room (in the beginning!) until they start asking us to build them their OWN scrap room!!!

Well now that we did, do you really think all that stuff is going to fit? No, they need extra storage! So they ask us to put up shelves in any place nook and cranny imaginable. Does that actually keep the livingroom clean? No! They STILL need the livingroom to do their "workshops" and "crop parties!" It never ends!!!

So where do you think that leaves us? Right! In the bedroom/basement, watching tv on a screen the size of a post stamp! Making ourselves invisible during such times will always be "appreciated."

MSW: Can you enumerate what you think are the most common characteristics of women prone scrapbooking "addiction?"

BubbaH: The addiction to scrap is caused by the genetic difference between men and women: women have a genetic defect that causes them not to understand the true difference between "nice to have" and "need to have".

Second reason is our human need to collect. We try to collect everything we think makes us happy! Hence my wife's request for a separate room; her own trophy room, I call it. Here she keeps her own scrapbook collections, as well as the collections of most manufacturers to be sold to other collectors! I was insistent, and she agreed, on one important thing: Get all those supplies out of our living room!

It is like fashion. They need to have the latest stocks. It needs to better than everyone else's and they want more. They cannot buy the same brand every season! NO! That would be like wearing that same dress to the annual company party 2 years in a row!

Husbands: Copy, reproduce poster-size and post in your bedroom door. Try it. She just might get the message. If all else fails, reproduce the "Symbol of Marriage" below and tape on her scraproom door.

MSW: What do you think makes you "survive/cope" the rigors of being married to a "passionate" scrapbooker? What are your "secrets." Does it take someone "special?"

BubbaH: I am surviving this whole deal by trying to be as "normal" as I can. By looking at it with a different perspective. Making myself "invisible" whenever I notice more than 1 woman in my living room (if this were on the streets, police would come to arrest them all!) Another way to deal with it, is to write about it in my blog as truthfully as I can but always with a sense of humor. I just need to. It's my release. (Ladies, go tell your husbands to start their own blogs! -M)

Symbol of Marriage (to a scrapbooker)

MSW: Can you share some instances when your "surviving/coping" mechanism was challenged and how you managed it?

BubbaH: My wife sometimes has a whole day of workshop/ scrapping in the community centre near our home. One early morning we had to move all that stuff from the living room to there! Before the attendees would arrive! Guess what? There was so much stuff, we had to drive 3 times (like 500 meters) to get it there! And when push comes to shove: who had to prepare lunch as well? ME!

How do I cope? I guess I just give in. (Sigh) Go with the flow. Take the easy way out. Keep your peace. There's no use trying to stop a runaway train!

MSW: Any "advice" to women scrappers on how to make it "easy" on their "partners" to "cope?"

BubbaH: Women should reward their husbands for being patient and kind. That reward should not be another layout to hang on the wall! Don't give us another minibook! If you want to reward us with something you create - go give it to charity instead! I suggest here.

If you truly want to make us happy, think of something else. Believe me: it doesn't always have to be sex! Just go to the kitchen and make us a nice dinner, or clean the house (keep your scrapbook stuff in your scrap room!) or take care of the kids (say no to scrapbooking parties once in a while). That, as simple as it may sound, would make us very happy.

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Ladies, go visit BubbaH's blog and share the link with your hubby. At the very least, you and him can share a laugh. :) Now, if any local hubbies would like to state their piece too, feel free to email me at scraphead{at}myscrapworks.com. Thank you BubbaH for sharing! I know a LOT of scrappers would feel the way I did after reading your sentiments... Guilty! Haha!